Wednesday, September 22, 2010

mummy decided to interview for this part time job yesterday

so i accompanied her cause she dont know how to go

we both think that the person wont hire her.so yar

she wanted to have two jobs and slowly gain more experience

so that eventually when she got retrenched

its easier for her to find jobs

but looking at how it is for her to get a job with the education of P6 only

makes my heart kinda ache

she told me study as much as you can

like what every parent would say to their child

i then reflected upon myself at night

and i thought did i really put in effort for this sem

i think i did.cause i studied

but perhaps not enough.esp during the yog period

i only started studying after my yog work

one day of practice for a sem worth of math

personally, i think its really not enough

even if you are damn good in it

i know my reports this sem are not A standard

but sometimes i really have no idea if what i think it is is right or not

i dont have anyone to discuss with.

so next week when results are out, i'm prepared for gpa 3.0 or below

its a big drop.really.its not a must to be in DL

but being in DL means that i'm still in the run for uni

as much as i wouldnt want to spend all my life in chemical plants

but i dont have a choice.i got no talent

and i need to earn money.so just live with it

i want to earn money and reward my mum for my upbringing

buy her clothes cause her clothes are worn out

buy her healthcare stuff cause her joints and hands shows how much effort she put in for the family

buy her lots of food cause she never got to eat them when she was younger

i think i cant get into uni.like seriously

so in two years time when i'm out there working

i will tolerate all sorts of shit that is given to me

and wont end up like my dad.stressful.so?

just stfu and endure, you have a family of 6 you know

i seriously hope my dad can get his butt out and try

just try for the family sake and get a job

then my mum wont have to suffer like that

and in two years time, its time to worry about the house

i'm gonna reflect upon each and every family member i have and learn something from them

yes including my dad.i'm gonna be a better person.

so if there's anyone reading, you can dont bother reading those

as much as this is a boring blog but i wont close it

cause its 5 years worth of memories

and i wanna keep it so that i know how much i have grown and change as a person

M 11:53 AM